I was born and bred in Brum, though interestingly enough have no hint of a Brummie accent. I have one sister, two parents (it’s true, I swear it!) and I did used to have two very fat hamsters. At the moment my priorities are exams and coursework, but I do like to play the Sims 2 from time to time.

I found out this year that I’m also a walking health risk – I have a crappy immune system in general, but my forte is subconsciously transmitting oodles of germs to people at school I don’t like. They always end up sick for some reason.

I’m also quite dishevelled and I don’t much care for make-up or hairbrushes. That’s not to say I don’t brush my hair, you understand, but I’m not one for whipping a comb out of my knickers and spending hours in front of a mirror. (That’s my friends’ jobs!) In the photo I look a bit mucky because it had been raining all day and my coat didn’t have a hood. The picture is from Hardwick Hall, though, so it’s made of win. Or so I like to think.

Ooh, and one teeny-tiny little thing more (because this bio is long enough already!). I’ve adopted a spoon. Yes. A spoon. Small and white and plastic-y with a little lopsided mouth. I called him Helena-Nigel, he has polio, and he’s already broken his neck in an unfortunate “accident” involving my friend and “Tin-Tin and the Crab with the Golden Claw”. Bizarre, I know.

And if you read all that, then God bless ye!

American Dad; Family Guy; Futurama; Azumanga Daioh; Ugly Betty; and pretty much anything with a historical or artistic theme.

Got highest exam results in the year-group for FIVE subjects.

Became a second-cousin (again), twice over to two beautiful baby girls.

Won a second contest at S2C.

Went to Hardwick Hall.

Made six more great friends at school.

Urgh… Got a retainer. Braces to follow soon.

Realised that, actually, I’m kind of a bad person. Or an unpleasant one sometimes. Which is a little bit sucky.

Found out that my recurring dream about eating waffles means I need to relax and do what I want for a change. Kind of bizarre, but whatever.

“You have a swimsuit tan. You could jump into the pool naked and no-one would know you weren’t wearing anything.”

Osaka, Azumanga Daioh.